PRESIDENT BUSH PUTS COLBERT BEFORE CONGRESS

Amazingly, considering the general lack of intelligence about Iraq's WMD and now surfacing about Iran's already stopped nuclear programs, that President Bush has discovered something about words in "alphabetical order." Anonymous insider sources in Washington recently discovered the President's ability to put "Cabbage," "Celery," "Code," and even the much more difficult "Colbert" before "Congress" and Counterintelligence" when he tries to write "c-words" in alphabetical order. (Although it is believed that the president does not know where exactly to put "Christmas" due to so many "consonants" and the feeling that anything starting with "Christ" should somehow be first.)