COLBERT WINS PRESIDENTIAL BID

Candidate cva Stephen Colbert announced that he is running for President and has won the unanimous support of "The American Alpaca Party." This major endorsement is sure to carry him on the tickets of more than the traditional two parties. His running mate, BB King, is humming aloud these days with confidence, saying "We are 'Party
Alpacas,' meaning that we love to party and will do so whenever we have an invitation." King went on to praise his buddy, Candidate Colbert, saying "Stephen is a True Black candidate, related to Gen Schwartzkopf, Guy Lombardo and Chaka Kahn."

It's true, alpaca scholars have checked with Alpaca Registry, Inc. and what King says about Colbert is absolutely true. Now that "Truthiness" is what American politics needs at this time. Candidate Colbert's campaign team offeres a new slogan for their man after dropping the once popular "WE WILL FLEECE YOU." Instead, they want to help make America stronger and reflect that with 'HUGS AND HUMS---INVEST IN INSURABLE ALPACAS."

"Clever Colbert," as close friends call him, reports "We all can use a good hug and know that we are safe." He added, "I have ways to make Americans snuggle up again and ways to help them feel secure." We are sure he does. More to come! In a gesture of good will, Colbert sent satirist/comic Stephen Colbert true black alpaca socks and a 100% hypo-allergenic black alpaca scarf to help that Presidential Candidate stay warm and cozy throughout his campaign. "Wear them well and best wishes for your success," said Colbert the alpaca.