COLBERT WILL NOT BEAR ARMS

Presidential candidate Stephen Colbert the alpaca speaks out "I'm against arms, often, but I have no bare arms nor was I given a right to bear arms. My fate was destined to be the world's most famous alpaca, and I have four legs and some hoofs, but absolutely no arms. The only arms I've seen bears have were ripped from hunters and hikers they caught, the bears chewed on them. Speaking of chewing some fat, I refuse to write for ANY television shows. I'm with the writers' union because my hoofs won't hold pens and make it difficult for me to type. However, I will speak,"

COLBERT BEATS REPUBLICANS: Petersburg, FL

Stephen Colbert the alpaca beat every single (and married) Republican Presidential Candidate to Petersburg, FL. "Giuliani and Paul were easiest, due to their age and misdirection. Hucklebee and Romney never had a chance either because I'm from Florida and know the pastures and alleyways. None of them stood a chance....as usual." said the ever so cockey True Black Presidential Candidate. B. B. King, Colbert's running mate, echoed the front runner's words, "None of them stood a chance...as usual. None of them stood a chance...as usual."

PEES IN THE MIDDLE EAST

Colbert and King report that they both took pees in Maryland, Pennsylvania, Delaware, New Jersey and Virginia while they were on their Lake Placid, Florida-to-Lake Placid, NY historical tour. "Obviously we were clear about having pees in the middle eastern
states, so what's the big deal? It was easy to do." said Colbert the alpaca.

White House Press Secretaries

Obviously the White House has been giving us "Snow Jobs" regularly.­.­.­and even before those, other press releases and the outting of CIA agents and lying to the world about Weapons of Mass Destruction show a most significant lack of intelligence.­.­.­.­not just in the White House, but throughout our great nation of misinformed believers.­ Colbert the alpaca wants to "trim the waste" as well as "trim the waist" right after these days of Thnaksgiving when most of us are grateful to not be bombed in our homes or markets or shot in the face or raped by invading troops.­ We are Americans with a history of trying to be free.­.­.­whereas the American alpacas are trying to be cared for by Americans who want to express the freedom of owning their own farm without fear of our own government taking it.­ (Ooops, "Eminent Domain" has struck repeatedly in our neighborhood and in Western Maryland where friends put their hearts and souls into rebuilding a farm only to have it taken by our government.­ God bless America!

COLBERT'S FRIENDS SAY DON'T SEND CHRISTMAS MAIL TO VETERANS

Seriously folks, despite recent popular emails that ask folks to send Christmas mail to "Any America Veteran" at hospitals like Walter Reed, please do not do it. There are security threats, real ones, to be aware of. Colbert recommends checking with the rumor queller's at:snopes.com before forwarding emails that are suspicious or that sound too good. "The holiday season is a time of potential threats and disasters just as much as it can be a time for joy in our families. Be safe, check things out more thoroughly before passing stuff around or suggesting that someone do this or that. Find out in detail what the potential results might be." says our national hero, cva Stephen Colbert the alpaca.

Working alpacas

Bon Bon and Boomer practice wearing their antlers and get comfortable running with them.­.­.­as well as posing.­ It is not for fun since we need to sell alpacas and fleece products as farmers to survive and to get medical care for Lorraine's son and my aged parents.­ We do what we can to bring some joy to others, but we struggle everyday to help, running out of time and seldom having anyone else participate in helping us.­ So, we get creative.­.­.­and highlight these lovely farm critters in positive ways to draw some attention to them and to us and some other alpaca farmers across our great nation.­ The nation will enjoy the softness and silky feel of the non-­allergenic alpaca fleece products as the people become more familiar.

Clinton, Colbert, Way Ahead in Nevada

t's a safer bet, for those thinking of investing in their futures, to vote for Stephen Colbert, who is insured, as are many alpacas, against mortality in many instances except for terrorist attacks and things like nuclear wars. On the other hand, maybe to have a greater impact against such occurrences, the rising percentages of support for
candidate Hillary Clinton may have the "electiness" needed. Clinton is up about 50% in her race and Colbert is well over 97% in his race (Colbert smiles, knowing that he is at least "two more legs up" than his closest human rivals, and that none are actually "running" for the Presidency of Paca Pacas USA anyway.)

Ron Paul Rakes, Stephen Colbert Takes

As Presidential Candidates go, Stephen Colbert the alpaca takes a dim view of Ron Paul. Stephen loves trees and grass and is especially friendly with our natural environment. He is appalled at Candidate Ron Paul's followers, both of them, for nailing "Vote for Ron Paul" signs into the bark and heart of many trees. Colbert hopes Ron Paul rakes up the dead leaves that such a campaign can cause. Colbert is well known for his tree hugging rather than for tree hurting. Stephen Colbert takes issue with the tree nailing sign posters, or tree snail pine toasters, something like that.

"God is Great"

The Wings of Faith.­.­.­glided into the lives of Special Alpacas Angels Agents 007 and 99 while they were touring the USA in North Carolina.­ The motorcycle club sang "God is Great" to the boys to help us all on The Great American Alpaca Adventure.­ Strange, that the boys were surrounded by bikers and felt so safe, as though allwere protected by angels.

More good video.­.­.­soon

We have some great shots of alpacas, bridges, rock strewn rivers, mountains, and more.­ Stephen Colbert enjoyed the views and sounds of the rushing water.

PAKISTAN'S NUCLEAR THREAT IMMEDIATE

Presidential Candidate cva Stephen Colbert the alpaca, heard a nearby intoxicated man yell "Pakistan's nuclear threat immediate!" which nearly sent Colbert into panic conditions. "Running for cover is at least as important as running for president," said Colbert, until, that is, his media sources were able to interview the drunk and listen more closely.It turns out that the drinking man had actually slurred "The alpaca standin' on, or near me, is a treat, I'm late."

Martile's Success

She did it! She, Martile, with her committee, put together the Art Festival for Sebring and had an overwhelming success including visits by the "alpaca-­dears," King and Humz.­ Pie eating contests, music, dancing, artists galore, plenty of visitors and a grand time.­ Couldn't ask for more!

King & Humz

Here we go.­.­.­B.­ B.­ king and his taller buddy, alpaca-­dear Humz, prepared for Christmas parades.

MAJOR UPSETS, BOWL GAMES LOOM

Once again Stephen Colbert upset several major alpaca candidates for president of Paca Pacas USA 2008. Several of these prominent alpacas had their large round eyes set on the IOWA, NEW HAMPSHIRE, OHIO and MICHIGAN votes, but Colbert the alpaca has overwhelming assurances from the eligible voters of those great states that the other candidates are fading away. Colbert's owners are celebrating his likely victories early by purchasing a large loom so they can weave alpaca fleece during the coming college football bowl games, which Colbert has cleverly renamed as "Footbowl Games."

KING AND HUMZ EXCELL

Two bright spots are a major hit at Florida festivals and fairs, bringing greater fame and recongition for alpacas from The Farm of Eden where Alpaca Angels of The Highlands reside. These two were hugged and photographed by hundreds of folks during Sebring's annual Art Festival.

COLBERT WINS WRITER'S AWARD

Stephen Colbert the alpaca, although he can not actually sing or write well, has "hummed" his appreciation for being the 2007 "Alpaca Writer of the Year." "I love it! I love it nation!" he hummed repeatedly as he walked away with the award...which is a replica of an alpaca hoof with a pen between the "nails". The award is going on display at The Farm of Eden, home to Alpaca Angels of The Highlands in Central Florida. "Many alpacas win blue ribbons each year, but this is different. I really am honored." he said.

"DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" WRITERS

"In developing the world's first Alpaca Adventure movie, none of the folks working on it were ever "Desperate Housewives: writers," hummed Stephen Colbert the alpaca during the TV writers' strike. "Due to increasing alpaca sales and the use of U.S. Tax Code 179, alpaca owners are seldom among the 'desperate' anything," continued the world's most famous alpaca. "In fact," Colbert remarked, "so called 'housewives' can raise alpacas with relative ease---or without relatives at all."

GAS RISING NOT RELATED TO COSTS

Stephen Colbert the alpaca noticed, in cold weather this morning, that gas was rising right behind him. He isn't sure if it is related to a change in hay, from Timothy Orchard to Timothy Alpaca, or not. Colbert and his friends will sniff out their gas situation and supply a future report.

Colbert the Environmentalist, tree hugging

Stephen loves trees while King enjoys grass.­ Both boys are champions of the environment, but none is greater than Colbert who dearly loves his trees.­ He loves to put some bark into his hugs.

WRITERS WALKOUT

Our material is "written" by alpacas, obviously, with cva Stephen Colbert the alpaca leading various union groups with powerful ideas and thoughts, bringing people and animals closer together, supporting each other's efforts. Colbert's writers are going full strength on High Def TV programs, a holiday special, greeting cards, and feature
film of his Great Alpaca Adventure. "There is NO WRITERS' WALKOUT to report here," says the ever popular presidential candidate Colbert.

Waiting for a Train

While waiting at the Tifton Terminal in Georgia, the boys found some friends.­ "All aboard!" (Actually these alpacas are not for riding.­.­.­they are super stars.­)

DOW DOWN, ALPACAS ARISE

Financial news: Many alpaca owners are resting assured due to their livestock being insured against mortality, and with available tax write offs annually reaching up to $125,000. Savvy alpaca owners, 80% who purchased their livestock off Internet sites and about 50% who let the alpaca farmer continue to keep, raise and breed the cute fluffy huggable investments, continue to enjoy the soft fleece bearing animals. The fleece sells well and is made into soft, warm, colorful and stylish products like sweaters, mittens, socks, hats, scarfs, coats and long johns.

Art for distinguished tastes

Stephen Colbert and B.­ B.­ King study some exquisite paintings during their tour of a Greek Food and Art Festival in Columbia, SC.­ Stephen was amazed about the long necks some animals have.­ B.­ B.­ King was wondering how to get black stripes running through his fleecey coat.

COLBERT'S CAROLINA CRASH???

Some say Stephen Colbert's Presidential Campaign "is a joke" even in South Carolina, but "Not so!" says chief supporter cva Stephen Colbert the alpaca. "I've given him the fleece off my back and fully believe in Colbert the human and his ability to turn THE NATION around. To treat Colbert as 'Carolina road kill' in his political campaign is disgraceful. If he needs me and B. B King to return and set the record straight, we
will." declared Colbert the alpaca.

And, every now and then, both the boys think of the beautiful maiden, Bindi, who was named for the brilliant naturalist daughter of Australian Animal Lover, the late Steve Irwin.

Bindi meets a horse and both animals try to figure out what's what.

Brain damaged in 2000 car crash, Joey's Hope is in alpaca sales and agisting from which his mother may make money to get improved treatment.­ The former Marine Corps hopeful is now 26 and relying on alpaca sales to finance stem cell or other therapies that show increasing promise for Brain and Spinal Cord injuries.

"UNITEDSTATESITINESS"

Stephen Colbert, B.B. King and Brzoz made an appearance last night on Halloween in Polk County's Florida's historic Gapway Baptist Church. The local "hummm" was about this terrific trio, campaigning for animal rights, improved environment, and for the return of Americans to be "one nation, under God." Recently Presidential Candidate Stephen Colbert, the human, coined the term "UNITEDSTATESITIES" to better describe unifying America again. Last night, Colbert the alpaca suggested "UnitedLandAnimalsandPeopleness" but, like everyone, he has a great deal of trouble actually saying it. So, he and his friends, simply hum the newly created word, which sort of sounds like "HmmmhmmhmmHMMMhmmmHMMhmmmmmhmmm" but they insist that we should all know what THAT hum means for unifying rather than dividing our great nation.