MAJOR UPSETS, BOWL GAMES LOOM

Once again Stephen Colbert upset several major alpaca candidates for president of Paca Pacas USA 2008. Several of these prominent alpacas had their large round eyes set on the IOWA, NEW HAMPSHIRE, OHIO and MICHIGAN votes, but Colbert the alpaca has overwhelming assurances from the eligible voters of those great states that the other candidates are fading away. Colbert's owners are celebrating his likely victories early by purchasing a large loom so they can weave alpaca fleece during the coming college football bowl games, which Colbert has cleverly renamed as "Footbowl Games."