PAKISTAN'S NUCLEAR THREAT IMMEDIATE

Presidential Candidate cva Stephen Colbert the alpaca, heard a nearby intoxicated man yell "Pakistan's nuclear threat immediate!" which nearly sent Colbert into panic conditions. "Running for cover is at least as important as running for president," said Colbert, until, that is, his media sources were able to interview the drunk and listen more closely.It turns out that the drinking man had actually slurred "The alpaca standin' on, or near me, is a treat, I'm late."